Cracklin' Rosie is at it again.
Rosie O'Donnell, who hasn't appeared in a film since 2009, just told her millions of social media followers...
"if u loathe trump - then u must abhor ted cruz - donate to beto o'rourke ... SAVE AMERICA"
Holy criminy, is the CAPSLOCK button on her keyboard broken? If a typographical expert had to analyze this Tweet I'm sure he'd tell us she exhibits sociopathic tendencies and shouldn't be left alone with children. But lets ignore her poor composition skills for just a moment while we break down what Rosie is really doing: guaranteeing Ted Cruz will be reelected.
For those who don't know, Beto O'Rourke is a Democrat from El Paso [which is so far away from everything else in Texas that it might as well be in New Mexico]. Beto's resume includes being a failed punk rock musician, a failed businessman and, as if that wasn't enough to keep him from being the junior senator for Texas, he even has a rather embarrassing political history in his hometown.
In fact, it's probably pretty unlikely that Rosie or her followers understand just how unpopular Beto is in the city of El Paso. Back in 2006, early in his political career, Beto found himself with a big, giant, Rosie-O'Donnell-sized egg on his face when he was essentially accused of participating in cronyism with a local real estate development group [that happened to be owned by a family member]. At the time Beto had just been elected to El Paso City Council when suddenly people started noticing a strange relationship between Beto and some local businessmen. An El Paso activist and outspoken leftist named Carmen Felix initiated a recall petition against Beto regarding an El Paso downtown development project. The activist, and many others, were upset that Beto seemed to be supporting and leading efforts on the development project to line his own pockets at the expense of others.
You see, Beto supports a government policy called Eminent Domain and many Texas residents [in both parties] are strongly opposed to this law. In case you're unaware, Eminent Domain is legalized theft. It's an action taken by the government to seize someone's property for the good of the general public [as if taking someone's property was somehow good for the community]. Sometimes eminent domain laws are invoked to build highways, pipelines or even parking garages. Suffice to say, eminent domain laws have a history of being misused and abused by corrupt politicians. The problem with eminent domain is that very often the property being seized by the government was someone's home or place of business. Displacing them can hurt their quality of living or income levels. If you're a fan of liberty, eminent domain is one of your worst nightmares.
After the petition started to circulate Beto did an about face and completely changed his tone on the idea of seizing a law abiding citizen's property for development projects. But the controversy continued. In September of 2006 the Land Grab Opponents of El Paso filed an ethics complaint against O'Rourke and the Paso del Norte Group, a company who was working with Beto on the development project. It turns out O'Rourke's own company, Stanton Street Technology Group, was providing services to the Paso del Norte Group where O'Rourke's father-in-law had a high ranking position.
In case you're not catching what I'm putting down here, that's a textbook case of cronyism wrapped up in a nepotism sandwich. Beto allegedly used his political influence as an elected official to try to cut a profit for his own company and a company headed by his wife's father.
Getting back to the California elitists, Rosie O'Donnell believes Beto has the qualities to appeal to real Texans. And what Texan wouldn't want to vote for him? After all, besides having a history of alleged nepotistic cronyism, he also spent several years living and working in New York City. What's more Texas than that?! Elitists like Rosie think they know what's best for Texas, but life in New York and California [where Rosie has spent most of her adult life] doesn't prepare one to understand the values we hold here in the fly over states. They'd know that if they ever visited this part of the country but, unless they're in town for South-By-Southwest, people like Rosie try to avoid this corner of the globe like the black plague.
Of course this isn't the first time Rosie's done this sorta thing and lately she's really been trying her gosh darn hardest [which isn't very hard] to unseat Ted Cruz as the Junior Senator from the Lone Star State by raising money for O'Rourke. Rosie honestly believes if she gets a few people to donate to Beto O'Rourke she might help get him out of Texas and into Washington DC. But, thanks to Rosie, Beto is probably gonna lose - and I have proof!
Here's how we know Beto O'Rourke will never beat Ted Cruz in his own state: the mainstream media and the coastal elitists are calling Beto a "rising star", the political kiss of death for Texas Democrats.
Right now a lot of you are probably thinking, "So they called him a rising star? So what? How does that affect anything, you hack?!"
First of all, I'm a proud hack. And second of all, what many people probably fail to recognize is that whenever the mainstream media refers to a Texas Democrat as a "rising star" that's typically the last time anyone will ever talk about this candidate in a positive manner. If you're a Democrat from Texas, the last thing you want to be called is a "rising star" by national media outlets because that title is usually followed by decades of political-obscurity.
Remember "rising star" Wendy Davis? In 2017 she's walking those cool pink sneakers to the unemployment line. And since there are approximately 1,263,620 people currently out of work here in Texas, that's a pretty long line. Hopefully she remembers to wear her filibuster-diaper!
Or what about Julian Castro? He was a "rising star" too! Then he mishandled $520 billion dollars at the department of Housing & Urban Development. Yikes! That's a California-sized mistake if I've ever heard one. And now Castro's being forgotten faster than snap bracelets and JNCO jeans.
And don't forget ol' Chris Bell [you already have], the "Rising star" who was supposed to beat Rick Perry in the 2006 Texas gubernatorial election. Then he lost by double digits. Now, in 2017, Chris Bell is so unrecognizable he might as well apply for a job as an agent at the CIA [but they still wouldn't hire him because he's too unpopular, even for them].
So as Rosie O'Donnnel keeps encouraging millions of liberals from all over America to throw money at Beta O'Rourke, just remember: her association with him will do more damage than all the money in his Super PAC is capable of repairing. No self-respecting Texan will ever follow the lead of an actress from Hollywood. Not even a liberal. Beto might raise millions of dollars but millions of dollars can't buy votes [this isn't Chicago, after all]. People in Texas are never going to take orders from a Hollywood one-percenter. This goes beyond party lines. We're Texas - we just don't listen to instructions from people who spend too much time in California or New York City. That sorta thing rubs our brisket the wrong way.
Notably, nobody from Texas is trying to stick their nose in Hollywood's business, so why are wealthy one-percenters from the entertainment industry trying to mess with us? Maybe they haven't heard: you never mess with Texas, lady. Mexico once tried to mess with Texas and it didn't end well. Just ask Santa Ana.