Joseph Scialabba is a single father from the Chicago area who unexpectedly lost the mother of his child several years ago. This blog post chronicles his experience with raising a female child alone in the 21st century.
"Yes, I have a daughter, hope that's not an issue."
That’s a phrase commonly uttered by many a single father when meeting a new woman with an interest for dating. Honestly, I’ve never been very good at dating. I either stay in relationships far longer than advisable or I take extended periods of single life where I serially date anything that moves.
But that was all before i became a dad.
I spent almost 10 years out of the dating game while in a relationship with her mother, and now I’m cast back into the dating pool, which is an experience akin to Tom Hanks character in castaway. Actually, I feel more like Wilson the volleyball most of the time, beat down and worn out.
Dating has changed so much since the last time I was single and on the market, I wasn’t even sure where to begin. Dating as a parent is even more complex then I ever even could have imagined.
Do I look for other single mothers for a relationship? Will single women accept that I have a child? When do I mention I have a kid? When do I introduce a prospective spouse to my child? The list of questions is endlessly mind blowing. How do I navigate an already deadly minefield of dating with a child? If you’re reading this waiting for an answer, frankly, I just don’t know.
There are a couple scenarios that seem to be that what I constantly run into; she’s either full blooded single women who can’t deal with the fact that my daughter will always come before anyone else, or I find single mothers out there who are actively looking for a step dad.
Does dating even exist in its previous form? Do people still go on dates in a traditional sense? Between social media and tinder and dating apps, I can’t help but think even though we are more and more connected than ever, a lot of us feel more alone than ever.
I’m no Brad Pitt, but I’m not Shrek either. I work an honest job and make a reasonable living, right? So why is dating suddenly so hard?
Or maybe it’s possible that I’ve set my views too lofty for someone I hope one day to fill the void left by her mother.
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