Joseph Scialabba is a single father from the Chicago area who unexpectedly lost the mother of his child to drug addiction. This blog post chronicles his experience with raising a female child alone in the 21st century.
Nothing will make the love of your life go from your best friend to your worst enemy faster than a custody battle. Suddenly every angry text you ever sent & every mistake you have ever made becomes evidence of your mental health or well being. These become barometers by which your ability to parent is measured, and not always fairly.
This is the dark side of parenting, the underbelly, especially when parents are trying to wage war on each other with a child's life in the balance. It is a toxic brew that can break even the strongest of souls. From accusations of drug use to throwing around accusations of child molestation, any family lawyer will tell you this is when the real claws come out.
We all probably know someone who lived through this nightmare or has personally been involved in this toxic saga; I've seen it break more than a few people down. What many don't realize when they are caught up in it is how damaging it can be to the children involved.
Take a step back, breath and realize, even if you hate your former paramour, now you should be acting in the best interest of your kids, no matter how much you hate their guts. Ladies if you have a decent man willing to pay his share of responsibilities, let him have his dad time. Fellas, if she takes quality care of your child, handle your financial responsibility towards your kid.
Stop trying to adjust things on the fly because you’re mad; they have moved on to another relationship. Stop trying to use your kids as pawns to control one another in a futile attempt that didn’t even work when you were together. Let each other be, let each other live, and your kids will prosper from a stable home life and supportive parenting.
It isn’t going to be easy. You're going to have to bite your tongue sometimes; you’re going to have to let things go for your child’s benefit. If you need further convincing, go over to Google and check out the statistics on what happens to kids that come from a single parent or broken home. Higher rates of drug use, criminal activity, & teen pregnancy; this should read like a warning manual.
Talk it out, give some ground, save your children from what can easily become a lifetime of struggle because you two couldn’t act as adults when it mattered the most.
NANJING, CHINA - AUGUST 20: A baby koala and her mother sit on a tree branch at Nanjing Hongshan Forest Zoo on August 20, 2018 in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province of China. The baby koala born in Nanjing Hongshan Forest Zoo made its first public appearance on Monday. (Photo by VCG/VCG via Getty Images)