Joseph Scialabba is a single father from the Chicago area who unexpectedly lost the mother of his child to drug addiction. This blog post chronicles his experience with raising a female child alone in the 21st century.
Time may decide who we meet, but we decide who belongs, and we decide wrong sometimes. We keep those around that are toxic, that stifle our growth, that will wilt a flower instead of helping to blossom. We all do it, have done it, or will do it. Some of us fear the loss, we mourn for what could have been, but in all actuality, that is how it was meant to be. We try to fix to those that are broken, that are lost, but in all truth as I learned, not all are meant to be saved. Some relationships will always be blessings, but most others are lessons.
Lessons meant for us to grow, earth from with which we sprout and flower. One of the hardest things in life is to realize and accept that we chose wrong with love. That we chose someone who became everything that we hate, everything that doesn't belong, and cast us aside so easily. These relationships are important in the grand scheme, those show you the direction not to head, the warning flags on the path, whether you choose to ignore these signs determines, who you meet as much as the time.
We play the tape over, the last of everything, a goodbye, a kiss, an intimate moment. Memories adrift on a sea of sadness as our minds churn with agony and pain. Memories are meant to be a guide to happiness, markers on the water. We can't control the actions of those we involve ourselves with, and attempting to prove fruitless. We can only watch as others show us their worth, and what they think you're worth. The excuses come quick and often when pain abounds, but the truth is people show you who they are often, believe them.
We too often fall for an idea of someone, what we hope they will be, what they could be, and that's not wrong. Falling in love with someone’s potential, with your idea of what it could be, can be the gas the lights a fire of destruction, or the sharpest of bets. Be prepared for either outcome though, because like gambling in a casino, we often bet wrong.
To give love and life to someone undeserving, to someone that has sewn destruction and pain in your life, is inevitable unless you're extremely lucky. The grace is that these relationships show you how bad it can be so you will appreciate the good. One day someone will enter your life that will make sure all these bad relationships, all those bad people, all that pain, is forgotten. Once your eyes open that person might be even closer then you think.
So dry your tears, and embrace your freedom, your life, and go find someone that will show the care that your heart deserves. That will help you blossom and grow, and show you the heights of happiness, and ride with you through the lows of darkness. Block them from your future.
" A tiny spark fans a mighty flame" - Dante
MUMBAI, INDIA - MARCH 15 : The town of Mumbai. Mural frescos after the Mumbai attacks by Islamic terrorists from Pakistan on November 26th, 2008. 173 people were killed and at least 308 wounded in Mumbai on March 15, 2012 in Mumbai, India. (Photo by Frédéric Soltan /Corbis via Getty Images)