Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, age 27, might just be the stupidest thug on Earth.
On April 5th of this year the 13 time felon had a pistol tucked into the front pock of his pants. Unfortunately for this future world leader, the gun accidentally went off and a bullet went through his testicle and thigh.
But his problems didn't stop there.
Being a 13 time convicted felon, Cameron knew he wasn't supposed to be in possession of a firearm so he instructed his girlfriend to drive him to visit a friend nearby so he could get rid of the gun before going to a medical facility.
From there he went to Central Washington Hospital where doctors and nurses performed surgery on him. During the procedure a balloon containing marijuana fell out of his bunghole, according to an affidavit.
Chelan County sheriff’s detectives received word that Cameron had shot himself in the testicle so they searched his car and found a bag of methamphetamine inside a pair of his blood-stained jeans that he'd removed before going into he hospital.
However, detectives didn't arrest Cameron at the hospital. Instead they issued an arrest warrant for suspicion of second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth.
When he turned himself in on April 18 a detective told a corrections officer that Cameron had a history of hiding drugs in unconventional places.
That's when they strip searched the suspect and found another balloon of marijuana inside his anus, according the affidavit.
Cameron was arrested and charged with yet another crime - possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility.
But the story doesn't end here. Once he was inside the jail, Cameron called his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators, according to the affidavit. Authorities listened to his phone calls and charged him with four counts of tampering with a witness.
The three incidents are being tried in superior court as three separate cases.
Congratulations, Cameron. You might just be the stupidest criminal in America... maybe on Earth.