Serial Killer Electrocutes His Own Genitals, Accidentally Dies

I love when a problem solves itself.

Take criminal justice, for example. We send people to prison to punish them for their crimes and, hopefully, rehabilitate them.

But some people just can't be rehabilitated. They're either too violent or too disgusting to be saved.

Evil is real, and some people are too corrupted to be saved by the social service resources we have here in our society.  All the counseling on Earth won’t help some sick bastards.

Case in point: back in 2008 a 62-yr-old German serial named Egidius Schiffer, dubbed the “Aachen Strangler,” was sent to prison for something deplorable.

Schiffer was accused and convicted of murdering five female hitchhikers. The murders took place between 1983 and 1990, according to his criminal records.

There's no saving a guy like Schiffer. He's a sick murderer, and a lot of German taxpayers thought they'd be destined to fund his living expenses for the rest of his life. But it turns out, they were wrong.

Not long ago Schiffer was in his prison cell, feeling bored and amorous, as prisoners often are.

That's when he had an idea: he was going to disassemble the lamp in his prison cell and connect the electrical cables to his nipples and genitals. Apparently this was some kind of a sexual thing, but who knows?

Anyway, I'm sure you see where this is going. It turns it if you connect electrical cables to your junk you risk death by electrical shock, and that's exactly what happened.

A prison spokesperson said: “He removed a cable from his bedside table lamp. Then he wound it around his nipples and his penis and stuck the end in a power socket.”

According to the reports, this wasn't suicide or murder. He died because he was trying to be kinky and he lacked the common sense to not understand how electricity works.

It's always sad when anyone dies, but what if the person who died is a really awful monster? And what if that monster died in an arguably funny manner? 

Is it okay to laugh when a serial killer accidentally electrocutes their genitals to the point of death?

That's a relatively mild moral dilemma I'm dealing with right now. 

But don't worry; I won't lose any sleep over this one because it's hard not to laugh while I think about the occurrence.

And that's how a problem solved itself.

BERLIN, GERMANY - JULY 16, 2017: Solitary confinements in the cellar of Stasi prison at Hohenscoenhausen located in former east Berlin that now serves as a museum for the public seen on July 16, 2017 in Berlin, Germany. The Stasi was the secret police and internal security agency of former communist East Germany. The prison was used for interrogating people considered as political dissidents and a threat to communist state. (Photo by Kaveh Kazemi/Getty Images)
The Pursuit of Happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness

Ken Webster Jr is a talk radio personality and producer from Houston, TX. He started his career in Chicago on the Mancow show and has since worked at dozens of radio stations all over the country. He’s currently the host of Pursuit of Happiness... Read more


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